


Why I Go On

by On_Sonnshine



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Pedophilia, ffs, mentioned incest, not much else I can tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 05:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/On_Sonnshine/pseuds/On_Sonnshine
Summary: Hard days. Even harder nights. Tragic cases and tearful faces. Elliot sees it all, and sometimes it gets to him. Sometimes it's so awful he can't understand how anyone could do it. And he doesn't understand why he goes on in this job. Sometimes even, why he goes on in his life.





	Why I Go On

**Author's Note:**

> I originally was making this Bensler, then I realized I could get some sweet gay fluff off of it

It was midnight. Cragen had forced him and Olivia home, despite the fact that they needed all the time they could get on this case. Elliot sighed as he pressed the key into his door, pausing for a moment and closing his eyes for a second. It was with cases like these that he couldn't seem to remember why he hadn't quit yet. In days time, when he saw Olivia again, saw rapists being carted off to prison, saw victims joyfully hugging their family, knowing another rapist or another pedophile was off the street, he'd remember. But now, with no justice yet to be had, he just couldn't seem to figure out how someone could be so cruel, so depraved as to do what their newest rapist had.  
  
He twisted the key finally, unlocking the door and stepping inside. He silently shut the door, locking it back silently so he didn't wake George, who he assumed was already asleep as he'd had the day off. This plan failed as soon as it had been formed, as George appeared out of the kitchen, smiling and wearing one of Elliot's hoodies and black pajama pants. This smile wavered as soon as he got a good look at Elliot. Elliot had dark rings under his eyes and he looked worn out. That was a look George had only seen on him a few times before, and it was one he didn't like. Elliot glanced at him but otherwise ignored his presence. He turned and and moved to the couch, sitting down in the middle with a deep sigh. George looked after him, and he moved to join him, sitting down beside him. Elliot leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He rested his head in his hands and George almost winced at the pain radiating off of him. He rested his hand on Elliot's leg and Elliot didn't react, telling George it was fine to touch him.  
  
"Hard case?" George asked quietly, for once glad that he was too tired to slip into shrink mode.  
  
Elliot pulled his arms back a little so his elbows were tucked against his stomach, though he was still leaning on his legs. He clasped his hands together, and they were enveloped in silence for a moment.  
  
"Yeah." Elliot affirmed, his voice so quiet George almost didn't hear him.  
  
"What happened?" George asked, wondering what could've been so much worse than what Elliot normally dealt with.  
  
Elliot took in a strangled breath and he paused for a second. He took a deep breath, and then spoke.  
  
"A father raped his son and daughter. More than once. A lot more than once." Elliot said, still in that same, small voice.  
  
George's eyes narrowed in confusion.  
  
"That sounds like a standa-" He started but was cut off as Elliot interrupted him.  
  
"They were two and three." He said, his voice gruff.  
  
George fell into a shocked silence, only able to utter a small 'Oh', and he began to understand why Elliot was so shaken up over this case.  
  
"How could someone do that to their own children?" Elliot asked quietly, his head still down.  
  
"...I don't know." George said quietly.  
  
You would expect him to be able to know, to be able to figure out how someone could do such a thing, but he couldn't. He'd never see it, never understand how someone could rape their own children, especially ones so young. George cuddled into Elliot's side, wrapping his arms around his forearm. Elliot took a moment, but he finally leaned back against the back of the couch, resting his hand on George's knee.  
  
Of course, it was only minutes later that George was asleep, despite wanting to be awake with Elliot. He'd stayed up to wait for Elliot, and he was like a child when it came to sleep. Elliot managed to muster a slightly genuine smile when he looked down at George sleeping peacefully against him. But at the same time, he envied him for being able to sleep when he knew he wouldn't, at least not tonight. Elliot stood up, careful to keep supporting George with his free hand. He circled a little, and slid his arm beneath George's legs, lifting him with one arm under his knees and the other his shoulders. George rested his head on Elliot's shoulder, and Elliot, despite all his troubles, felt his heart surge with a mixture of love and protectiveness towards the man held in his arms. Elliot steadily carried George to their shared bedroom, where he laid George in bed and pulled the covers to his shoulders.  
  
"'Night. I love you." Elliot whispered, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to George's cheek like he'd done many times before when making fun of the man's height.  
  
Elliot didn't even consider the bed, instead turning and walking back into the quiet living room. He sat down on the couch and stared at the wall in front of him.  
  
Sleep didn't come to Elliot that night, for the distraught and tearful faces of those two children were burned into his head.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it. I ACTUALLY finished something. Hey, it's short, sweet, gay and angsty, the perfect mix.


End file.
